Oh How I Wish!

Three posts that I wish I didn’t post online:

“Dear Lord, i-exempt niyo muna po ako sa brown-out kase po mano-mano akong nagtatabulate. Pag namatay kuryente, magugulo yung bilang baka po maglaslas na lang ako pag ganun. Amen!”

This post was put into Facebook last September 19, 2013. I regret that I posted this because my prayer sounds like sarcasm. It’s like I’m not a Christian. One of my friends commented on this post and she said that it’s cute and I doubt her intention telling me that it’s cute. I was thinking if she’s pertaining to my post or to the fact that there’s a suicide attempt. I think she doesn’t like me.

              “Ganda mo eh! Ni like lang nila pictures mo umikot na pwet mo? Feeling mo crush ka na din nila? What if kaya malaman nila na assumera ka, ilalike pa kaya nila? #feelingera #simplengmalandi #pacute #dibagay”

This post was also from Facebook. I don’t know if I have the right to post this because I am the president of my course. I should be a good example to my fellow organization members, but this post might decrease their respect for me. I was really angry when I posted this. A friend of mine once again betrayed me for stealing the guy that I love. I’m not perfect and I thought that this is the only way to release my  anger and hatred instead  of confronting her or pulling her long black hair.

“I love gecko! #50ThingsAboutMe”

                I said to myself that he wouldn’t know that I love him but this post on Twitter has leaked. I am so embarrassed because I thought there’s no way for him to read this. Sadly, his friend has a Twitter account and they have read it, what‘s worse is they make fun of it. When I discovered it, I cried so hard, they were insensitive and I was careless.

Three posts that I wish I did post online:

                “I want to say sorry to those people that I hurt physically and emotionally.”

                If I’ll be able to post this I think I am going to be sick but it’s fulfilling to do a public apology so that people will know that I’m accepting my mistake and I know how to say sorry. I’m not perfect but I’m aware that there are times that I am insensitive.

                “I’m so blessed to have a family!”

               
                I’m always posting about my negative feelings about them but I never brag about them. I remember a quote telling that friEND, boyfriEND and bestfriEND have an END except for the word famILY because it has an ILY for I LOVE YOU. It makes sense.

                “I LOVE MYSELF!”

Self worth, I think I don’t posses this, that’s why others don’t respect me or make fun of me. They think that it’s fine with me if they’ll hurt me or say something that will degrade my personality. I want to be in love with myself, but not to the point that I’ll be a conceited bitch. I believe that women who love themselves and are confident are better able to thrive and have a lasting impact on the communities around them. Women who feel good about who they are and are able to express their truths are less likely to fall between the cracks in society and are more resilient in creating positive futures for them to enjoy. By learning how to love myself, I’ll be able to make good decisions and command respect from others.